Discouraged

It’s been quite some time since my last ‘in deep thought’ entry on here.

I’m disappointed to say that not much has changed since then. When I started this blog, I was on fire to get my life together. To re-enroll into school. To find a job that is better suited for me.

Unfortunately, as the months passed, I got nowhere. I stayed still and I lost motivation.

Fear started settling in. The “what-ifs” clouded my mind and hazed my vision. The vision I had for myself that I would get myself back up and succeed was no longer there.

Another couple of months passed and the ever so lovely Hurricane Irma brought down her wrath on the island I call home and we had to leave. We were away from home for a few weeks with the thought engrained in our minds that we may not have anything to go back to.

Fortunately, when we returned home, we saw our house unscathed. Fortunate and blessed is what I told my husband we were. But still, with the rest of the community rebuilding, normalcy has not made its reappearance.

And with that, the vision that was there before all of this happened is even further away.

Anyway, thanks for letting me spill what’s on my mind. Hoping for a better tomorrow.

Ena

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Self space.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to have a place to go to just sit and be by yourself. For me, it’s this little corner in my house. It’s a place of solace and retreat. It’s a comfy little spot to read a book, drink a cup of coffee or yes- even nap.

Lemon Chicken

I’ve been playing around with recipes lately in hopes to find ones that I can make on a regular basis. I’ve made this Lemon Chicken just a handful of times and every single time it’s been a hit! So I’ve decided to share my version of Lemon Chicken, hope you enjoy!

What you’ll need:

4 Chicken Thighs
1/2 cup of lemon juice (for me, I used 2 large lemons)
1 additional Lemon
1 cup of Chicken Broth
1 cup of flour
1 tsp Dried Oregano
1 tsp Dried Thyme
1 tsp Dried Rosemary
Salt & Pepper
Olive Oil

How to make:

  1. Pre-heat oven to 375F. Heat olive oil in an oven safe fry pan or skillet on medium/medium high heat.
  2. Combine chicken broth and lemon juice in a cup and set aside.
  3. Throw in flour, oregano, thyme rosemary and s&p in a gallon bag and shake it up until it’s all incorporated.
  4. Add chicken thighs (I did 2 at a time) into the gallon bag to bread by shaking it around to bread.
  5. After breading, fry chicken on both sides until golden brown starting with skin side down.
  6. Once browned on both sides (skin side should be on top), add the chicken broth and lemon juice into the pan. Should come about halfway up the chicken.
  7. (This step is optional) Slice up lemon and place on top of each chicken and sprinkle additional rosemary on top.
  8. Place pan in the oven and bake for 35-40 minutes until the chicken is no longer pink.

And that’s it! I usually serve this with brown rice and whatever veggies we have on hand. It’s always a hit with my husband and we never have leftovers when I make this!

 

It was all just a dream.

One night, my husband and I got to talking about what our first memories were. He told me this cute little story of how he fell in the living room and hit his head on a rocking chair. As his  dad was driving him to the hospital, his dad told him to keep pressure on his cut or else his noodle will fall out.

My first memory isn’t so cute.
It’s something I still can’t really get a grasp on.

I was three. I remember waking up in the middle of the night. I was tucked in between my parents- because that’s something kids do. My first memory isn’t actually me waking up in the middle of the night but it was what I woke up from.

I had a dream.
And to this day, I still remember it.

I dreamt my whole life up until I was three. To that exact moment in my life when I woke up in the middle of the night, tucked in between my parents.

I think about this often. Many times I wonder if I had actually dreamt it or if it’s something that I have just kept replaying in my head. Like that one part of the movie you keep on a loop.

Since then, I have questioned many times if what we’re going through is just one big trance. As if in the end, we’ll wake up and our lives were lived through dreams.

Smile like you mean it.

I’m not going to lie, before actually taking this step, I was confident in what I was doing. Now, I’m a little frightened in what is going to come next…

Let me explain.

As I’ve said before, I hadn’t been happy in what I was doing the last six months. I was working in a place where my heart was never fully 100% in. I have been meaning to go back to school since I haven’t been back for a year so I could finish my degree. Event after event in my life happened and finally I decided that the time was right to take the leap. Next thing I knew, I was turning in my resignation letter and waiting for my two weeks to be up. The thing is, I was so confident in what I was going to do next. I knew what I was going to do. I had a plan. And now that I’m here, now that I’ve taken that step and left the job I hadn’t been happy at, I am scared.

Scared of not finishing what I started.
Scared of not accomplishing something again.
Scared of not knowing if this step will actually take me to where I want to be.
Scared that I left something stable to set out on a journey that I have failed to finish before.

But, thankfully, I have people around me who are continually supporting me. Who continue to motivate me. And, who continue to help me in navigating my way through this adventure.

So I just have to smile like I know what I’m doing.
And more importantly, I have to keep moving forward.

-Ena

Be Cautious

Trying to find ways to explain my situation at the moment without spilling every detail is a little tough.

Maybe, sometime later, I will be able to compose my words correctly. But right now, all I can say is be cautious on who you put your trust in.

-Ena